learning to self-love (a guest post)

juliana of shakti mama has embraced womanhood this year. read on...

In the last year, I have become much less afraid of many things. Like myself. And death. And other people. And … spirituality, God, Jesus.

All of this has come with an epiphany that might or might not surprise you. The epiphany is not a new one. It is not an unrecognizable one. It is merely this. I love me. I love every part of me. I love those parts of me that are tender and loving and kind. I love those parts of me that are angry and depressed and frustrated. I love those parts of me that are unexpected, like the way I make baby noises with my little girl, or the way I will wake up some mornings and know I need to write or go to the gym or cry or take a walk through the woods. I love it all – and it is in loving all these parts of me that I am learning to love all people. It doesn’t matter who the person is – cantankerous neighbor, homeless man on the street, sweet lady in front of me in line, cranky man honking his horn at me in the street.

I love all of them … and I can say this with ease because I sincerely believe we are all one. We are all connected. It is humanity that connects us. This beautiful, magical, mysterious, spiritual recognition of how human and vulnerable we are draws us to one another. I am learning this profound art of loving – for it is an art – and I am learning that when someone reacts angrily or in an unfavorable manner, it is because they are hurting, just as I have been hurt and reacted in the past. I am learning that we all have this capacity … to love each other so much that we understand just about everything we want to understand about the universe, about why we are here, about God and death and life.

As I learn love for all, I am also becoming increasingly aware of the negativity that surrounds us. It seems we cannot escape it sometimes. By negativity, I mean the media, politics, and society in general. But I also mean negativity on an individual level. Most of us are programmed to react negatively – to resent our lives, to complain about our children and jobs, to be jealous and paranoid and unhappy. Once we begin to recognize that our lives are gifts, and that we each have our own individual set of lessons to learn during this lifetime, then we stop resisting life. Once we stop resisting life and once we embrace change, even the difficult ones, we really begin to live – with graciousness – in the moment. And there is nothing more precious than this.

Jesus had much self-love. This is where love and compassion began with him. This is where it begins with all of us. When you find yourself reacting negatively or saying something that hurts another, stop for a moment and extend love to this hurt part of yourself. It is asking for your attention in the only way it knows. Look to see where the real hurt is coming from, where the real negativity is stemming from. Spend time with these emotions. Treat them as you would treat a sad child. Then, when you are ready, let them go and move beyond them. Breathe. Feel yourself grounded to this earth. Feel your spirit lighten as it recognizes its own light. Life is different this way. And beautiful too.