i'm one of those people that straightens rugs and stresses over curtains hanging crooked and he's sitting in a puddle of vegetable oil slapping happy and i sigh and pull him out and clean up fast but kiss him faster
toilet paper sticks to the bottom of his shoe, he trails white and shreds merry, leaving confetti across carpet and hardwood and i fold laundry and marvel at the mess and the rest inside me
he cries and kicks on the change table and i think, i could punish, but i take a moment to look deep, and his eyes speak pain, what baby words cannot voice and so i stop and hug it hard away and he quiets for the love
the mama's love that laughs at arrowroot crust on curtain, at vegetable oil puddles and toilet paper confetti
it's a love that transcends
we sit now and i teach him his numbers and colors and then, his bible, and we're learning beattitudes and i am still getting it, this being blessed when sad, this being blessed when poor
but it's no less true for me failing to understand
and part of me gets it: the mother part. the part that says, when you, aiden, are sad or in distress, you are blessed because then i can help you. then i can hug the sad away and kiss the happy-return and you will know love more fully than if you had never been hurt to begin with
and love is the kingdom of God.
broken writers, artists, believers... spill crumbs below... in a communion of the imperfect.
1. link up a post that you feel is 'broken' or 'imperfect' or somehow redemptive
2. put the 'imperfect prose' button at the bottom of your post, so others can find their way back here (see button code in right-hand column of my blog)
3. read other's offerings, and comment!
(i will be officially opening the community every wednesday at 5 pm EST, 3 pm MST... you can link up all week long)
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*'a mother's love' painted for a friend who recently fled an abusive situation with her children; prints available here*
42 comments:
i am still getting the blessed when sad, blessed when poor thing too...it's hard to understand it all, most of the time
Exquisitely beautiful...
this, the ordinary, you say it well: this is what will transcend, if we but persevere.
as i trip on the words "blessed are those who mourn," your words here speak more beatitude than you know, friend.
"but it's no less true for me failing to understand"...an amen statement, this is for sure!
Mothering has a way of shredding the heart and putting it back together again, doesn't it? I love this, how you love your little man.
his eyes speak pain what baby words cannot voice.
yes, i know those eyes, every mama does. such beauty in them. i stand with you today, a mama hugging the sad away. the beauty is when we hug their sad away, ours melts away too. thank you for these words today my friend.
I think we learn so much about love and God's love for us through the love we have for our children...and this lesson continues throughout their lives...even when the are 26. I always love the out pouring of your heart on the page Emily...you have a wonderful love and talent. I adore your painting as well! :-)
So often, I wonder what it feels like to be loved this way. I'm so glad I can give this gift to my children. Love to you, Emily.
"take a moment to look deep"... this is what it's all about, mama! "know love more fully than if you had never been hurt"... this is what it's all about, child! i love it! i love you! xo
today has been hard, and filled with mama and bbay tears. we've just finally collapsed on the couch in a long embrace.
he teaches us much in these moments if we just open. yield. i'm not so great at yielding. especially when it means confetti strewn and lunch late and no sleep.
ahh, grace, i breathe it in.
...no less true for me failing to understand. This is true love that transcends. So glad God is patient and kind with me when I don't understand, when I want to kick and flail in pain.
Celebrating Thanksgiving down here in the US this week, my Canadian friend. Am so profoundly grateful for you, your kind words, and the sweet friends I've made here in this place you've invited us to. Blessings, abundant blessings to you.
"a love that transcends"
I think you get this mothering thing, Emily. Beautiful. I wish I had gotten it earlier, but better late than never. May you have a blessed Thanksgiving.
sweetness...oh sweetness:):) it's such a blessing to share in this beautiful heart of yours...
and my susie was found in a puddle of olive oil and i was just remembering how i didn't blog about it and laughed with you...it was so funny and made her skin soft:):):) JOY...such joy and privilege.
With blessings and love:):):)
beautiful write dear friend :)
i love the learning, the understanding, the re-learning, the knowing...
when i read:
he cries and kicks on the change table and i think, i could punish, but i take a moment to look deep, and his eyes speak pain, what baby words cannot voice and so i stop and hug it hard away and he quiets for the love
i think of this verse:
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’"
"but i take a moment to look deep...
so i stop and hug it hard away"
this. this is what love does. this is what love is. this, a reflection of Him.
~ ~
again, thankful for the learning, the transforming.
blessings upon blessings my friend :)
"but it's no less true for me failing to understand" I love this!!!
such a beautiful picture of a mother's love and a legacy of faith! your boy is so blessed to have a mama who longs after the Lord the way you do.
Only a few moments tonight and then a long day of family and friends and thanks tomorrow. I just wanted to stop by and visit. There is always so much beauty here Em.
I felt a little light go off as I read this. Surely, you are modeling the Father's love for us. We may not understand the way He "parents" at times, but we may be assured it is always born of great love.
You, sweet girl, are doing a wondrous job of mothering. I am in awe of you.
I really love your paintings, especially this one.
They'd all be beautiful even without the words but the words make them even more beautiful.
Motherhood has changed me in this way, too.
I cannot tell you just how much I needed to read your words today. I punished today when I should have seen that pain, and it leaves me with a pit in my stomach. I was short-tempered when I could have been gracious. So tomorrow, I will be thankful for mercies that are new and I will hug harder and speak softer.
Love to you, E.
Beautiful as always, Em. Aiden is so blessed to have you as his Mama.
Happy to join in the community this week:)
Posted earlier this time.. as you suggested. Another snip of my NaNoWriMo w.i.p.
Thanksgiving blessings to all from up here in Canada!
Posted earlier this time.. as you suggested. Another snip of my NaNoWriMo w.i.p.
Thanksgiving blessings to all from up here in Canada!
wonderful. Children are our teachers if we look at them, and are teachable. I love this post. I am studying sermon on the mount. It's so hard and so...FREEDOM.
Free to love.
Free to be sad.
Free to be poor.
I loved this post, you captured so many things with it.
grateful, again,
to be welcomed, with imperfections abounding,
to this sanctum of grace.
Emily, I loved your part about choosing to love instead of punish when Aiden kicks on the changing station....I deal with this so often and if I'm not careful, I get frustrated. It's So so so good to remember to have compassion. I love that. We do have a choice. I'm so glad of your reminder. Bless you, friend. I'm so thankful for you.
I'm finding that William Zinser's advice - write short - holds true in creative writing as well. And how rich was this post Emily! Like butter.
he trails white and shreds merry
brings a picture worth a thousand words (and smiles).
Happy Thanksgiving!
LOVE this one...best one ever to me!! I think you got me at "arrowroot"!!! ;) Baby memories right there!! Mine used to have that EVERYWHERE...from head to toe & everything else in their path.Thankful to be a mother!
Happy Thanksgiving!
we're learning beattitudes and i am still getting it, this being blessed when sad, this being blessed when poor
Ahhh yes . . . I am still (kinda) getting it with you . . .
Blessings my new friend. I am thankful for your encouragements!
"the mama's love that laughs at arrowroot crust on curtain, at vegetable oil puddles and toilet paper confetti"
Smiling wide at this one :)
But you write the mess so beautiful!
Right there inside the craziness, He dwells.
beautiful. the words. the relationships.
and that is how our father loves us...and so much more...
really happy to join you guys again this week :) xoxo
so much love and sweetness here Emily...this is just the beginning...he's a baby...the frustrations and deepening of love expands as our children grow!
I love the end, about kissing the happy-return and knowing love more fully than if he'd never hurt at all. So so true
Beautiful, Em. Thank-you. Your words are gifts to my heart.
I'm still getting kicked at sometimes. Still praying my love transcends.
This was everything you know. This is so much of all our lives really.
and I am so in love with that painting.
bless this woman as she shelters her babies.
I too am a rug straightening, curtain correcting mama...I have had to realized that it is just not worth it...hug, laugh, and listen first..organize later.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours Emily!
I have never though of the blessed in sadness that way - but the way you describe it from a mama's perspective - that completely makes sense. It clicks! I had to read your last couple of paragraphs to my mom and husband who are sitting in the room with me.
So wonderful to see your understanding of his crankiness while you changed him. To hear you hugged him instead of punished him. Wish I had showed more love, less impatience when my young men were little. For me it's a life learning lesson.
Blessings,
Janis
Its a wonder that a part of your thought gets written some where in such a lovely way ! Don't know why i related your post to thoughts about my grand mother and his affection for my dad !! Mother's love knows no age no bounds really :)
this is wonderful, emily. I stress over the messes and miss the fun more than I would like. God is helping me with this...I am blessed...grateful
for this and for all the rest of my character flaws because as you said, if it weren't for these flaws how would I ever feel His love as He changes me?
In light of this view, we can truly be grateful for our brokenness, can't we? Amazing!!!
I love your painting as well. I will be checking into purchasing a print.
You are a beautiful, talented sister...xo :)
the ebb and flow of mothering is such a tender space .. blessings as you rest there
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