i'm a wreck with a nice face.
i smile and disappointment is eased by pretty.
church started at 11 and the toilet was plugged and the dishwasher was broken and i stood in my red pjs staring at the clock not able to move but i smiled, and the clock seemed to understand and waved me okay, and so i crawled back into a corner of the day ... and when our guests came to lunch and i told them i just hadn't been able to make it to church, and sorry-smiled, they understood and pretty paved the way and i don't think i've ever known grace for my skin
and my son has my face
how to teach him God-on-cross in this place where beauty saves?
they piled puppies on him, newborn wrinkles, eyes sewn shut and they waited for him to squeal but he just sat quiet and played with the straw and there were seven of us, watching, cameras poised but he just sat and smiled and we forgave the disappointment for the face
and we watched him for 20 minutes playing with straw
he smiles and we swoon for the cute and i'm proud for he's my son, but where is the real?
to see beyond skin...
to let soul be the guide...
an image of body i need to convey, looking not to the mirror but to folded hands for reason to live
22 comments:
You will teach him well, Emily. Grace to you.
for the times we just can't put it on. thank you, thank you, for living the real, for being the real, for teaching the real...
smiles. beauty goes much deeper...perhaps in a boy just being even when surrounded by puppies and in washing dishes with God instead of going to church so No one asks why we didnt
I used to feel guilty when I missed an occassional church service. But sometimes when you are ready to break, staying home and having some holy communion with God while you pull yourself back together is much more spiritually and emotionally healthier than warming a pew! :)
so often grace is seen in the playing with the straw .. folded hands .. it teaches us more than we actually want to know perhaps..
Little ones - you gotta love what draws their interest. I love how you love him here.
my niece has the same affect on me :)
We've all had those days. We stayed home Sunday and walked to a diner for breakfast and it was more spiritually refreshing than any sermon. God ministers to us where we are.
precious face stays calm
warm, furry, wriggling bodies
God's love in puppies
The beauty that is God and grace is that He and grace are ever present...sometimes our greatest communion with him comes in the simple and just "being" ...where two or more are gathered...and resting in knowing that it is not about anything we do to earn that grace...it's all about living in the small moments too...sounds like a perfect time to step back and stay put....XX
--- "Soo.. you just smile through it?" I was asked recently by someone who received a glimpse into my mess...
Wreck with a nice face indeed. ---
I love Betsy's comment. Loved all the comments, really. Once again, your writing touches my heart.
Keep doing what you do.
yes miss 'never-miss-a-sunday' here to say that I had about the best morning with the Lord when I was sick and stayed home last Sunday...there's a part of that discipline that I love and am thankful for its foundation...but also surprised by grace and joy in the missing...
and for him...you know it's heart to heart and loves' little seeds that will give it all meaning...is giving it all meaning
Oh, Emily, your beauty goes way deeper than skin-smiles. Real, real, real. That's you. There is so much real here, such passion, such love and such desire for your boy.
I am always so filled when I visit.
I am confident that you will teach him well Em.
I think that there is a beauty of heart that shines through and is seen on some faces. It is this beauty that we are really drawn to. You have that kind of beauty Em.
I am a wreck with a nice face!
AHHH! Best sentence ever.
I'm really enjoying your writing, falling madly in love with your words. I also want a puppy now.
"The children who cannot be understood because they speak half English and half God."
I don't think that line could be truer anywhere than on that straw pile with those puppies in his arms.
Cheers,
Joy...
i see his gentleness everytime you photograph him with these young animals... kittens, puppies... how lovely that he doesn't pinch their ears or squeeze their tails. that he sits quietly and calmly and plays with the straw.
we have so much to teach them, and also so much to learn from them, yes? to simply sit and BE... to allow ourselves the freedom to do this, to not worry about perfoming for others. to know we are loved in spite of our imperfections.
you give this love to aiden, and so he is at peace.
"looking... to folded hands for reason to live"... oh, you should have been there to see this foolish girl today. sitting and spewing and then closing her eyes and letting elder-woman prayer wash over. and, for the first time, she had to lift her hands. (she is me; i love your words so much.)
Your little man is soooo cute! Doesn't get much better than a little and puppies! Hope you are having a great week. How is you mom?
I kept thinking about this.
Sometimes I am so very thankful, to be the wreck with the smile, the pretty face and
sometimes not.
I laughed out loud at your boy. Such sweet surprises. That little bit of self emerges in straw and smiles and I just want to cheer. He's so -- himself! Could probably watch him for hours just documenting all the details.
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