she's a religious girl, the kind that wears her hair in a bun, the kind in skirts and floral print and one of the first things she did upon getting to the shelter was to order herself a new shirt from sears with lace at the bodice and she felt so scandalous and free.
until the shirt arrived torn and she called herself a sinner for the guilt that undid her, for guilt had been beaten into her, in the name of Christ, and it would take years to undo
and we were there because she'd invited us, her goodbye party for she was moving into her own place away from shelter, from family, from abuse, and she'd spent all day cooking
and we sat there, the only guests invited to have come, and tried to make light but it was all across her face, the un-shed tears, the wondering why, the folded hands so worn from unheard prayers and i wanted to run outside and beg strangers to the feast and call those who had been invited and ask, how could you?
but instead i just told her how lovely her blueberry fritters and the bacon bread and the salad and begged the trinity to wrap her tight for there are some wounds you cannot touch, let alone heal
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54 comments:
beautiful story, heartbreaking. some of the things done in His name... i can't fathom His pain at them, His grief. thank you for sharing this em.
I want to hug her.
But--will at least stop and pray...
melt her heart, hold her heart, heal her heart...let her see Who You really are.
Surely she will never forget that you showed up. Surely she will never forget that gift...
You are His hands and feet, Emily. How well you do that. How precious it must have been for your friend that you were there.
Oh, what an ache that gives me for her --- to invite others and have them not come. So hard.
Humans. Argh.
OT: As I leave this comment, I look to the right, and there is that photo of your husband tossing your son in the air. That, my dear, is such a precious moment you captured. If only, we trusted our heavenly Father to catch us like that. We would be free, wouldn't we?
Love that last sentence. What a wonderful prayer.
This breaks my heart. But there is hope...you gave her hope and were a balm to her bruised soul.
I am left without words. SO much brokeness. All around me. In the bible belt. if we only knew.....
Stories like leave an ache in my bones. I've been in similar situations and I hurt for the other person and I hurt for myself and I hurt for Jesus wondering why we don't do better with each other. Thanks for doing good, Emily.
That breaks my heart. Praying that Jesus heals her wounds and provides people in her life for her new journey.
That makes me furious, at people who didn't come, who though someone else would come and so they could do whatever else had come up. But I'm so glad you were there, that someone celebrated with her! And may Jesus heal the broken places in her heart, the old breaks and the new ones.
Emily,
I love those last words, they are so true.
I hope she finds healing. Oh, I ache for her...
I've missed being here and writing. Thank you for the outlet
heavy...i see a lot of abuse cases...and a lot of church guilt...and it is good the grace you bestowed just in being with her...
wow, if someone wants to make ME some blueberry fritters and bacon bread and salad, there's no way you could keep me away!
I feel so the hurt in this story. I've felt her pain before, maybe most of us have. Thank you, at least, for going.
Thank you for being there for her, emily. I love your heart.
the heart, the compassion, sensitivity and wisdom – and as always the most beautiful way of braiding words together and making them shine. I hearted this. Thank you Emily – thank you – and God bless you.
Beautiful...and haunting.
And, oh what grace that you were there.
I met a woman a month ago - nearly my age - a grandmother - who never knew love until she had a child - and it was the only love she knew. I wept for days. How does one survive such pain without Jesus.
i see this woman's bruises in my husband's eyes, the guilt (that rip in shirt = deserved), and it makes me so sad for them, that the Bride has neglected her own. thankful you were present for this girl, sweet emily. may you and your family be witnesses yet.
Oh, emily thank you for being there for her! My mom was raised this way(in Pilgrim of Holiness) and sometimes I get so frustrated at her for being so legalistic but she has come such a long way and this is a good reminder! She is hardest on herself most the time and I remind myself of this when she is being hard on me. I'm so thankful for Gods grace! xo
oh, those times are hard. it's hard to just be sometimes. praising Him for your faithfulness in just being present, in showing grace and extending friendship.
One wonders why those others didn't come. I choose to see the ones that did come as the gift of true friendship.
How we long to right the wrongs, bind the wounds and mend the broken hearts. I must believe that He does too, and that when others fail He is faithful.
This is so touching Em. How thankful I am that you went - for she must see Him in your tender hearts.
I look forward to this post every week! Thank you for this one...it was chilling and wonderful.
Sometimes I can only hold onto the name of Jesus and barely the name "Christian".
What has been done in the name of Chrisitanity breaks my heart.
I know it breaks Jesus's heart too.
Thank you for this post, Emily. So sensitive and so powerful. I like the contrast between "the folded hands so worn from unheard prayers" and your prayer for the "trinity to wrap her tight." I'll pray too that those worn hands let go of the guilt and cling tightly to Jesus.
Wow, your word pictures are amazing! Beautiful!
no words to speak of the hurt ...
this makes my heart sad, but so thankful for you, that you went and loved on her and supported her. "for there are some wounds you cannot touch, let alone heal"-words so true.
I hurt for her.
Oh, that last line just said it all. What a touching story.
Sadly the reason I stopped doing art is because it came across a pulpit that art was meaningless and a useless waste of time. And I had just finished my degree in fine art... and walked away from it. Now 20 years later it has been hard to bring myself, to allow myself, the freedom to do "art" , let alone enjoy it.
Abuse without physical contact but abuse all the same. Worse really because it was spiritual abuse mixed with a huge dose of legalism. Praising God for helping me see the Truth and rest in His Grace Alone.
Thank you for writing this post.
This made me cry. I hate loneliness, and the pain that rejection brings. I pray that heaps of love and friends will fill that girl's future. I'm glad you were there. Love you.
How beautiful that you were there for her.
so heartbreaking and raw...these times are when my tongue swells large and I mumble prayers of healing and wonder why such pain needs to exist. Prayfully asking God to provide answers and knowing that all we ever need is His comfort. And on this day, you were God's instrument of comfort.
love you. and her.
I'm trying to place myself in the story and? i've been all of you, even the ones who didn't show. It's ridiculous how much grace is needed to heal this world. It's impossible to calculate how much I need for just ME. Thank you for reminding me of that.
the post below catches my eye... again, thanks for hosting... i'll be back this afternoon to read more! xo
This sweet young woman, my heart gets knotted up when I think of how often the love and compassion of God is twisted by some to create shame in others...so that they will feel powerful, rendering someone else powerless. I'm praying for her, that she will find peace, safety, love and compassion in the world as she begins her life again.
oh. just oh.
Emily, you should publish a book of short stories/essays of these imperfect prose offerings...it could even be titled "Imperfect Prose"...
Each short is so powerful...you have such a way with words...
"and tried to make light but it was all across her face,"
Such a face hurts my heart. I have a face that tells all my stories and I wish I didn't. I'd like a mask. I hurt for this girl.
You would've been the person I would've invited, too.
So beautiful and so hard to read without tearing up. I agree with Cindy that you should publish a book of these gorgeous stories. I would be first in line for it!
oh emily. how you love. heart wrenching.
Emily I Love 'Trinity.' One of my favorites I've seen of yours. The colors are beautiful! And I totally agree with Cindy... a collection of your stories would be amazing!
Oh how this hurts...want to reach and touch her cheek...GOD spoke to her through you that day em...she will remember.
Oh, that painting--the colors of love. I see Jesus in you, and you wear Him well.
I'm sure you're a blessing in this woman's life.
This was a little heartbreaking, I hope she's doing better.
Wow! This is powerfully gripping! I felt my heart breaking for this woman...so like me...in need of His grace each day!
This busts my heart up in so many ways. It also makes me mad. Just mad. I want to rise up and fight for her. But who is there to fight?
Wow. The honor of standing witness. You give honor to the wounded. I'm undone at your gift.
oh how I ache for her hurt, for the feeling of wanting and to be left still wanting. May she be covered in love and being wanted and loved in a way that is whole and pure.
this makes me ache so much, lovely friend....so much.
:'(
I love what JoAnn said, because we are all in a different place at different times, and all suffering and doing and trying.
exceptionally beautiful , Em.
Fantastic artwork Emily! Very beautiful and deep emotionaly! Wonderful colors and i love hte symbol language!
Nice to meet you too Emily!
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