Wednesday, December 21, 2011

imperfect prose on thursdays: the hum of something holy (over at The High Calling today)


It’s Christmas Eve and we’re shopping, piling rolls of paper and chocolates and candy canes, stopping now to let Mum rest, and then on to the rows of Pillsbury dough and eggnog. She’s getting that look, the one that says we need to go home so she can sleep, but we haven’t even started on main gifts, let alone dinner.

She laughs as we pull her to the rusted van, sister and I caring for 53-year-old mother who home-schooled us long and made us homemade bread, now confined to a seven-year brain tumor. The snow is falling. Mum reaches out, shaky. The flakes melt fast to her skin, making her sparkle. We sing carols in the car on the way home and Mum’s cheeks are red as Rudolph, her eyes like a robin’s egg.

Mum’s got a glazed look now, and I know it will be hard to get her out of the car and into bed. At home we pull covers tight, pray angels be near and dreams be kind, and may she wake to attend the candlelight service – the same service we attended as children with our other siblings, dressed in outfits Mum had sewn herself, too poor to buy anything new. I’ll never forget my red velvet dress with the white lace collar and how fancy I felt in my eight-year-old skin.

The front door shuts, Dad shakes snow from the hat he’s worn for 20 years and we watch him as he climbs stairs, tired. He looks at us and we say, “She’s down for a nap,” and he swallows.

“How is she?”

“A bit fuzzy,” I say, and he nods. Maybe we should decorate the tree.

But Allison insists on waiting for our sister and brother to arrive. I call up my husband and he brings the turkey. I baste it and stuff it and prep it for tomorrow’s feast, for as much as Mum is fuzzy, tomorrow’s Christmas, and I’m hoping for a miracle.

(won't you follow me, here, for the rest of this story, a re-post which originally appeared in Focus on the Family magazine last year? merry christmas, my beautiful friends... see you in a couple of weeks!!)



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25 comments:

Lori Alexander said...

Wow...I had a brain tumor when I was 45 years old. Thankfully, it wasn't malignant and they were able to remove it. Your mom is the same age that I am now. She's so young...life is painful. Thankfully, we have a hope and a future.

Blessings,
Lori

Old Ollie said...

Merry Christmas E -

Your blog has been a blessing all year!

God Bless you and your family...and God Bless all imperfect prosers!

Lisa notes... said...

May you have a blessed Christmas, Emily! Thanks for all the gifts you've given me this year through your words and heart.

happygirl said...

I love this story. Your sweet story of your dad. Your family. Your mum. I'm glad you took the time to write and didn't keep it pondered in your heart. A gift.

Kati patrianoceu said...

It sounds like you have a rather amazing set of Christmas traditions... that was such a real Christmas story!

Beth said...

I didn't know this about your mom. I thought it was your husband's mom that had cancer or is that also the case? I pray that your Christmas is full of joy this year, Emily!

suzy said...

Merry Christmas dear Emily.
Have a wonderful one!
xx

Brian Miller said...

big smiles...great story em...i hope that you and your family have an amazing christmas...

will be around to see everyone later tonight...just on a break at work and thought i would get mine up...

merry christmas everyone!

path of treasure said...

May you have a warm, wonderful Christmas, full of love and wonder. Your blog has been a gift to me, so glad to have found you.

Jennifer Dougan said...

My nose crinkled with tears, and I grabbed my water glass to wash it down. Bittersweet, beautiful, and honoring of your mom, dad and Abba. Thanks, Emily.

Merry Christmas, virtual friend.

Jennifer Dougan
www.jenniferdougan.com

Jennifer Dougan said...

Thank you, Emily. Regarding your comment on my site, I agree. Isaiah has done that to me so much these last few months, asking tough questions and asking if my life shouts worship in ways he wants me to?

Merry Christmas.

Is your mom still with you?

Jennifer
www.jenniferdougan.com

simplystriving said...

I had to keep reminding myself to breathe as I read your poignant post, Emily.
Beautiful.
And I sing hallelujah...

Merry Christmas to you and yours
~nikki

manicddaily said...

Inspiring story. Have a lovely Christmas. K.

Nimue said...

Inspiring and spirited too .. the way you care for your mom. god bless you !

Laurie Matherne said...

First time posting. I love reflecting on the idea that we are imperfect but redeemed by the grace of God.

journeytoepiphany said...

pajama clad choir...do you know how precious you are? I love your heart. This piece warmed me like a cup of hot chocolate...

alittlebitograce said...

Praise God for His marvelous works! I read this in Focus when it came out and bragged to my MIL that I know you. And that you were her sister's neighbour. :)

Laurie Collett said...

You have such a beautiful gift for allowing the reader to experience what you do -- it's like being there with you. Love and Christmas blessings, dear friend.

Cherry said...

Thanks for this beautiful Christmas story, Emily - and also for your words all through the year. Have a wonderful, meaningful Christmas with those you love!

Southern Gal said...

Oh, emily. I'm hoping for a miracle, too. Merry Christmas!

HisFireFly said...

Moments of pure peace in His presence and overwhelming love -- this then is my prayer for you this season.

Jessica said...

I linked up!

Theresa Miller said...

I read your story over at High Calling and it is beautiful. It's the moments that really count, isn't it? We so often miss the moments. Sometimes heartache can be a blessing.

Wishing you a very merry Christmas!

amanda d said...

Merry Christmas to you ... Hope this time with your family is sweet. See you in 2012 :)

Laura said...

Emily, how you give the best gift: love. It shines in you. He shines in you. Merry Christmas, dear heart. You are a gift.