these days we're weak all around. we hug each other more than usual and cry a lot, and look at our children as though they have just discovered gold. they're so beautiful, and we don't want this to end. these days of sanctuary.
soon there will be double the number of snow boots in our entrance and double the beds and double the runny noses and we grip each other, strung out on compassion. because we know what the right thing to do is, and it's just so hard.
but it wasn't hard, when she called. when she called, we knew. we had no choice but to help, for "i can't be a mother anymore," she wept, this mother of the boys who stayed here at christmas. and you know them, joey, and jin, and they will be coming to live with us soon, and we don't know when they'll be going home.
four boys under the age of four, and i only have two arms, trent away at school all day.
we fed the deer today, trent's dad knowing every antler, tenderly tracing tracks in the snow and he's set a camera up to take their portraits. sometimes he sits out there for hours, studying the deer, the way they interact, and he's built them a corral to keep the moose away.
we fed them and there was peace in the woods. in the sun and the sky and my boy stepping carefully in the snow. and he left footprints, bigger than i've ever seen him leave and i know i need to follow. for he'll lead me straight to the love i'm looking for: the love that will transcend any physical weakness.
and he watched us feed the deer and he'll watch us feed these boys and together we'll form a cross: trent, aiden, kasher and i. each of us a limb, a board, nailed to the other. and we'll bridge a gap between joey and jin and God.
we're hugging each other more than usual, these days of sanctuary. and maybe it will all be easier than we imagine.
anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins. james 4:17
(pray? please? this is so, so hard... this working out of our salvation.)
(linking with jen, laura, michelle, and ann)
91 comments:
Praying dear friend. You can do this. Thank you for doing this.
Gorgeous and raw. It's like that whenever we add a new family member, the sanctuary, the noticing, everything dripping with meaning and whispers of "remember this." It is hard. Your honesty, your grappling, your wondering what it all means and how it will all come together -- it's so needed. Thank you.
(My adoption blog post tomorrow might be of interest -- it's called 'not my strength.')
Love to you and yours -- ALL of yours, whether for a season or forever. Prayers for hope and vision and so much love you don't know where it comes from, until it couldn't come from anyone else but Him.
Those He calls, He equips. I don't know how He does it. Believing this on your behalf.
Praying for all of you Emily. It will be easier AND harder than you imagine, but oh the grace you will be sloshing in!! I recently heard someone say that "every great work takes the shape of the cross." You've already noticed that, and in that, the greatness has already begun. When it all feels too much, laugh at the absurdity of the moment and joy will win! Love and big hugs to you sweet girl!!
Oh friend. You radiate love in your words and your actions. I will be thinking and praying for your family. I love Nancy's words above, "Those He calls, He equips." You are loved sweet friend. By many!
tears and prayers and tears and prayers and smiles from nc
Oh dear, sweet Em. This makes me cry. I will be praying. I know He gives grace and strength for all he asks us to do, but the truth is sometimes it is a hard thing. You and Trent are so very dear. These little ones will be so blessed.
Oh my sweet Emily, you said yes and I think His grace is even bigger than the yes. Praying for you as you transition.
Wow, Emily. As Karmen said, you can do this (with God's help), and thank you for doing this. Being Jesus with skin on, wiping noses, pouring milk into sippy cups, cuddling young boys, wiping tears -- theirs and yours! :)
The old song that keeps coming to my mind this month as I watch a grandma friend of mine serve her lingering husband on hospice, and see the couple in church a row ahead of us wrap arms round each other as they sing, and schedule a mastectomy, wiping tears...is
"His strength is perfect when our strength is gone, he'll carry us when we can't carry on, raised in his power the weak become strong, his strength is perfect, his strength is perfect."
Praying for you tonight from snowy MN,
Jennifer
www.jenniferdougan.com
Let us know when they come so we can keep lifting you all up, them too.
You're on the prayer list, Emily.
Misty eyes here...
This beauty-full
WHAT LOVE!
I pray that God give you all the Grace you need!!
Will do. Grace for the task that is before you and blindness for all that are after that one (so as not to become overwhelmed). Peace that passes understanding to you and yours.
we need only to make ourselves available and He will give the grace needed, grace for each day. It can seem overwhelming if you think about the WHOLE thing, but take one day at a time, baby steps, God will come through for all of you! You will see miracles! God bless you! Patsy from
HeARTworks
I'm praying and believing God's promise of sufficient grace for each day for you. love to you all!
Beautiful obedience...that's all He's asked of you. Leave the consequences to Him. "He is able, more than able, to accomplish what concerns you today. He is able, more than able, to handle anything that comes your way. He is able, more than able, to do much more than you could ever dream. He is able, more than able, to make you what He wants you to be." Love to you, my friend!
So encouraged by you:) So many times we leave the good undone! Just remember that you are now part of a community that is ready and ABLE to help! Just say the word! You do not need to do this alone!
One day at a time for the manna we need ... and for the mama with the empty arms, too.
God will provide. He will also fill you until you and Trent run over with love and grace enough for all these boys. What an important role you'll play in the lives of all four of them, and Joey and Jin's mother, too. It makes me think of your book and wonder if you spent the time studying and interviewing the Jespersens for this very moment in your mothering life...
God will provide. He will also fill you until you and Trent run over with love and grace enough for all these boys. What an important role you'll play in the lives of all four of them, and Joey and Jin's mother, too. It makes me think of your book and wonder if you spent the time studying and interviewing the Jespersens for this very moment in your mothering life...
Oh Em, I'm praying for you now. And I'm so proud of you. His grace is enough. He will equip you, dear friend.
Oh {my} Em . . . You. That heart of yours? It moves me to tears right now.
There have been times when the only prayer that ever saw me thru situations like the one you and Trent and the boys are walking into, looked and sounded like this: a desperate girl with her face in a puddle of tears on the floor, crying over and over and over, "teach me how to Love." Those five words? They are enough, I have found.
Praying for you all - so big.
Love,
E
i will pray, e.
i will pray.
prayers abound, precious one.
the difference between living for feeling (good) and living for knowing (Good).
You know I've got your back. Absolutely.
praying. love.
Rejoicing today, my friend, at reading the willingness of your open hearts! And rejoicing that through these "yes" moments, you are changing the lives of two. Two...and so many more watching! As we get our new temporary daughter this week, I will be thinking of you also! Rejoicing as He expands your hearts with His supernatural love....equipping you with everything you need. And floods you with the grace that will abound for sure, as you do His kingdom work! Blessings & love ~ jen
Oh...and as you encouraged me in our foster care journey...so I will lift you up in this similar one.
I truly love your GREAT BIG HEART!
You inspire me to no end. to be more like Him. I will pray. Add your family to my daily prayer list. Strength and grace for this new assignment.
With prayers for your courage and fear and love. One day at a time, one hour at a time.
I'm here. And there.
done and will continue to do so...but if any could i imagine you will...
You can do it. You are strong, both spiritually and physically. My prayers are with you... and the little ones who have such a wonderful person to step up an take them in in their time of need. Bravo, really.
xoxo,
Jessica
Diary of a Beautiful Soul
“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Edmund Burke
Praying for you, friend!
Such a big decision, and prayer is happening!
Wonderful and scary!
we will pray.
spilling tears now, and there is a prayer in every one.
It's through the impossible being done anyway that we are winnowed fully, isn't it? We pray "have your way Lord" and then, wow, He does.
You are being magnificently and miraculously strengthened for this and it is one day at a time loving. Maybe one hour at a time. You've got this.
Prayers for you. <3
-Ari
Yes, I'm praying now.
There you go, letting yourself be held -- trusting, saying 'yes', not knowing how. Exactly.
Joyfully praying.
Beautiful Emily! You are Jesus's hands and feet friend.
You can do this, I know you can. He will enlarge your steps to the size of your genorous soul.
Take each one, one at a time :)
I will pray for you :)
xx
What a very beautiful thing...so very, very beautiful. Write grace on every wall, mirror, and heart, sweet friend...it's there for the taking in, for the filling up and pouring out.
And I'm writing your name on a sticky note for the fridge...it will be my joy to pray for you - when your name comes into focus and the Lord brings you to mind - often, I'm sure of it. XO
i'm praying for you em.
:)
I will pray for you, Emily, for all of you.
I spent yesterday morning teaching a Sunday School class about who the disciples were and what it means to be a disciple. Had I read your imperfect prose earlier, I could have just used that for my lesson plan! Your family is in my prayers. But, I have a feeling, God has already equipped you with the qualities you need to see this through. You truly live your life as an example to others.
Oh hon, yes, I'll pray. I can just imagine how hard overwhelming, exhausting this will be. Thank you for living the gospel to these boys and this family.
I'm on it friend...sister.
Praying... and thankful for the beautiful example of Christ-with-skin-on that you set for us.
What a gift for you, Emily. What an honor to be chosen for this and you know it will be hard, but you know you've been chosen and you'll run straight to the arms of the one who chose you every single day and you'll draw closer. You'll be amazed. I'm so excited for you. I'm so thankful and filled up that you said YES. Praying. xo
Oh Emily...these little boys are blessed....blessed to have you and your husband to pour in the Love of Christ...and He will provide all...He who calls is able to give all the Grace, Wisdom, Love and Strength to be His hands and feet...Hugs and prayers to you my friend...
Every mother of young children needs a friend who will say "yes" when she needs help. You are giving such a gift to her by helping her bear her load. Praying!
Oh, Emily....praying for His abundant grace to cover your family during this sacred time...
Adding lives to a household, that's sacred.
Blessings on you all.
Oh Em,
Agreeing with so much of what's been said here. We took in many foster children when ours were young (not all at one time though :).
Would I do it again? Absolutely yes, and I know it was GOD's Will for our family.
Did it pain and stretch me beyond what any stretch marks ever could? same answer...
You have my prayers, dear friend.
praying.
praying.
You can do this.
Oh wow. Praying right now.
Thank you for sharing--your words, but more importantly, your home and your lives with those who need it most. Certainly not easy.
Keep your sense of humor and realize what a beautiful wreck your house (and head) will be! You can do it, but of course you cannot do it PERFECTLY...it will be okay.
Oh Sweet Emily, I so understand where you're at. God has recently called me to do something similarly hard. Doing the hard things are not always fun but they are always good. And this is so pleasing to our Father. He delights in your obedience. "Religion that our Father accepts as pure and blameless is this, to care for the orphans and the widows" Praying for you dear friend.
This is beautiful and honest and broken, and that is exactly where God's strength and beauty and love meet us. I will pray!
Praying. "For such a time as this." That came to mind. You said yes, and He has chosen you to be a blessing. Praying for His grace and strength and peace in the coming days.
Emily, I always love my times here at your blog... your beauty is stunning. I have absolutely not doubt in my mind that Papa God will take the loaves and fishes and spread them to feed the multitude in your house. He will multiply in ways that the mind cannot conceive...
What a gift you are to those boys.....
Love,
Julie
Beautiful, beautiful sacrifice. You and your family will certainly be in my prayers.
Praying, praying, praying for your family and for the boys who will become your family.
It's been a while since I've visited. I don't know when, really, but I still had you bookmarked. I am glad I stopped by today. I just said a prayer and I will try to continue to pray for you and these precious children (all of them!).
Latest post: One day she may marry
hey em...you have a good and sensitive heart and if god told you to take the boys he will give you the strength. a few thoughts from my experience..there's a time for everything and things change and he will also show you when the time is over..just keep your ears and heart open..
you
can
do
this.
He who died for all the sins you would ever commit...is also the God who will be there for all the things you will ever go through.
HE is already standing in each day ... you can do this.
..if you need me (I am familiar with this type of thing)
let me know.
T
"The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." Galatians 5:6
Emily, I want to read all the comments but don't have time at the moment. I will add you to my prayer card of mothers I pray for. Will pray for all of you.
His grace is made perfect is your weakness, for when you are weak then HE is STRONG.
Underneath are the EVERLASTING arms.
He gently leads those who are with young.
He will provide, He will meet you. He is most available in your weakness, dear sister.
Love to you and all your boys.
Kit
You must be an amazing family, strong in faith and love, for God to place these boys in your home. You're not only providing a place where your friend's children will be cherished as your own, but you're providing her with Grace, the opportunity to be still and deal with the overwhelm that she is struggling with. It must have been so difficult for her to admit that she had lost control and relinquish her sons to your care. It must have felt like such a weight being lifted off her, knowing that she could come to you with this burden, knowing that you would extend yourselves in this way. There is so much your family will gain from this simple act of reaching out a helping hand to another. Riches so great you will marvel at them in the days to come.
BTW, I love your father-in-laws kindness to the deer. This, too, is no small thing.
Blessings, my dear friend. I'm in awe of your family and the enormity of your hearts.
Oh, my word. How beautiful you are. Emily, you never cease to amaze--the way you listen to the Spirit and...Obey! I am praying for you and what a blessing you will be to these boys and praying for their mamma too. He will give you enough arms.
Praying, awed by your love and sacrifice -- and feeling the truth of what you say -- how hard this is, this working out of our salvation.
this is the ironic thing that people rarely mention: we expect that when we obey in the hard things, God will come through in such a way that they become easy. but sometimes they don't. sometimes God comes and holds us in the middle of the hard until we find that His right-next-to-us-ness is more than we could ever ask for.
praying for your beautiful family, em.
I always seem to say the same thing here, Emily, because it's always true. You teach me how to love, every day. Big, big prayer for you my friend. Pour that Jesus love all over those little ones and your own, and don't forget to get a little on you too, dear girl. <3 Remember whose strength you have to do it in, but do it all the same. Love love love and prayer for your family, Emily.
These words of yours, from your heart. . they made me cry. He is in front of you, taking the steps ahead of you, preparing you and caring for you. And He is under you. Keeping you steady and strong and full of Him.
Praying for you right now my friend.
love in action. Your hearts are beautiful. Will continue to pray. Will continue to believe in your ability to touch all you encounter with grace.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers. It's hard when life is turned upside down, especially when it's because our hearts are so big we want to bring everyone inside it.
It will be hard. And beautiful. And the redemption will reach farther and deeper than you will know. But somewhere, some day, you will turn a corner and gasp when you see the field of golden grain.
I didn't think it was possible I could love and admire you more than I already did. It was.
Praying, sweet Em. Praying blessings on your adorable, cropped head.
Love, Jeanne
Praying for you Emily - how I would open my door for little boys needed mothering, needing loving, needing to know that someone will take care of business, will make them feel valuable, will be on the inside family circle - that amazing love fall on them, wrapping you together, binding you as a family.
You are living my heart here - I so want to do that. I am excited for this adventure - a house full of boys is a blessed place to be!
(Remember, squats and hugs - squats for discipline, hugs for love)!!!
hi ember.... thinking of you.
with love.
Em. You are such a picture of loving sacrifice to me. I am in tears as I pray for the strength you will be given to raise up all your boys. You are amazing, friend.
I saw snow boots at the store the other day and thought of you. I will keep you all in my prayers Emily.
I saw snow boots at the store the other day and thought of you. I will keep you all in my prayers Emily.
Prayers have been said for you and your lovely sounding family in this little corner of England this morning. It is a big thing you are taking on, but the burden isn't for you to carry alone. Praying the weight of it won't rest heavy on you at all, and that folk around you will share the work and the joy and the pain. We are all in this messy life together, right? Will keep praying for you, and you remember to look after yourself too, ok? This amazing love you show, not a scrap of it will ever go to waste, not ever. You are an inspiration. Bxx
You, my sweet friend, are leaving footprints for so many. Praying He will expand your heart and your sanctuary as you wring out your compassion on these and yours. He is faithful. He is working out through you.
And you are so loved.
w o w ... you are amazing grace
Your lives will be enriched and blessed. We live in China and took in an orphan a year and a half ago. He was very ill and needed a family to care for him. He is now healthy and happy and he has made our lives full. Painful? Yes, as we can't keep him (complicated laws). Joyful? Yes! Changed our family forever? Absolutely!
I came here after reading your post from today as I had missed it. I am praying for you: for strength, endurance, love and patience. I know this will be hard but you are doing what every child should be prepared to do. God will bless you beyond measure. Emily, you are such a kind soul!
that image of your family as the boards of the cross ... oh, e. that one will be in my head for a long time to come. what a marvel His grace is, in your hands. love you much. and praying...
Praying for you, and thanking God for what you are doing. "Thus far the Lord has helped us." 1 Samuel 7:12
oh my. my heart is with you.
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